LOOKING AFTER FRIENDS AND FAMILY

+ Are you going through a tough time with your family?

Not always getting along with you family, or having some disagreements is normal. But if you keep having the same fights and nothing seems to change or help, you can start to feel frustrated and very overwhelmed.

Sometimes problems with parents, carers and siblings can be a trigger for using alcohol and/or drugs. Using may feel like an escape, but can often lead to more issues, and even make things worse.

Feeling safe at home is really important. If you are scared, feel threatened, or feel like someone is going to hurt you - don’t try to deal with it alone.

If you need to speak with someone now call:

LIFELINE: 13 11 14

KIDS HELP LINE: 1800 551 800

Or, if you want to chat online go to: headspace

If you are in danger or there is an emergency Call 000 immediately.

Why do we fight? How do we fight?

Arguments and conflict with family can happen for lots of different reasons. This can include; misunderstandings, different opinions, troubles with trust, issues about power and control, neglect and abuse.

Fights with family or carers can be intense. Because we spend so much time with our family we are less likely to ‘hold back’ in disagreements. This can lead to people saying or doing things they regret.

Here are some ways to deal with family issues more effectively: Don’t try to talk it through when you are angry or upset Instead of talking about all the things that are upsetting you when you are fighting try to bring up the issue when you are both calm. If you or your family member are angry or upset it can be hard to see each other’s point of view. Choose a time to talk that works for both of you – it will be much easier to find a solution when everyone is settled.

Listening

Once you have said what you needed to say it is time to listen. Give the other person a chance to explain how they are feeling and try to understand where they are coming from without reacting. Everyone wants to feel like they are being listened to. It can really help you get along better.

Compromise

Being flexible and willing to compromise means you are more likely to find a solution that works for everyone. If there is a situation that you are unhappy about try to have a few different ideas about what could work. Compromise goes both ways so it is important that everyone thinks of a few things they can do to resolve the issue.

Positive changes

There might be some things about your lifestyle (such as drug and/or alcohol use) which can be a big part of the conflict in the family. If using drugs and/or alcohol is the way you cope with the fights at home you can try something else like going for a walk, chatting with a friend, or playing a computer game.

If you a struggling to make changes to your use it may be time to talk to someone about what is going on – using drugs and/or alcohol can have negative impacts on important relationships in your life.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ Supporting someone you care about

It can be really upsetting to see someone you care about in pain. You might feel frustrated and helpless, or that there is no way to get through to them. Even if it doesn’t seem like it matters to the person you care about your support right now is very important.

If there is someone in your life that you are worried about here are some ways to give support to someone who is struggling:

Listen

Listening can be a really powerful action. Try to listen openly, without judgment. You may not have the answers, but sometimes just feeling heard is what a person needs. Let them know you are always there if they need to talk and that they are not alone.

Be informed

Find out as much as you can on what you think they are struggling with (drugs, mental health) to help you better understand what they’re dealing with.

Encourage them to get help

There are lots of support options: a doctor or specialist support service or online help. Before suggesting getting help make sure you are both calm and are not in the middle of a fight or feeling really upset. You could offer to go along to their first appointment if that feels right. That way it might be less overwhelming for them.

Give them space

Stepping back can also be really important. If the person doesn’t want to see a counsellor - don’t push it, because it may put them off getting help at all. Try to be patient and offer support when needed.

If you think the person you’re worried about is at immediate risk call 000.

+ Helping a friend who is intoxicated

Being a good friend means helping out if someone you know has used too much alcohol to drugs.

Depending on what they have used, signs that a friend might be in trouble or may have overdosed include:

  • Vomiting
  • Blue lips and nails
  • Pale or blue skin
  • Choking and gurgling
  • Collapse
  • Inability to be roused from sleep
  • Seizure/shaking
  • Slow or shallow breathing (less than 6 breaths per minute)

The two most important things you can do are:

  • Stay with your friend (or make sure someone who is sober does)
  • Call 000 (and wait with the person)

Paramedics are not the police – don’t let fear of getting in trouble stop you from calling an ambulance in an emergency.

If your friend is unconscious but breathing, place them on their side in the recovery position (roll them on their side). Make sure that the airway remains open by tilting the head back and lifting the chin. Check their breathing and monitor their condition until help arrives.

  • Do not try to make the person vomit
  • Do not give them anything to eat or drink

The more information you have, the more helpful you will be to ambos treating your friend.

  • What/how much did your friend use?
  • When did he/she last use?
  • Are they responding?
  • Are they breathing?
  • Do they have a pulse?

If you call emergency services don’t hang up the phone until you are told to.

They might be able to give you more info on how to care for your friend until support arrives.

If your friend is not breathing or does not have a pulse you may need to start CPR. Local youth or drug and alcohol services often offer access to first aid courses.

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