MAKING AND MAINTAINING CHANGES

+ Will I stop using drugs if I see a service?

Getting help from a service doesn’t mean you will definitely stop – but it does mean you will get support to understand your strengths and to make the changes you want to make.

There is no simple solution for stopping drug use. As well as services there are lots of things that help young people quit or control their use.

This includes: support from family, community and good friends; activities that keep you busy; somewhere safe to live; and stable emotional health.

If your goal is to cut down or stop using drugs then a service will work with you to achieve this. Because having a problem with drugs usually never develops on its own, a worker might help you deal with some of the other issues going on in your life as well as teach you skills to manage drugs.

Not everyone wants to quit – some people want a break from drugs or want to learn how to make their use safer. These are things that services will be happy to help you figure out.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ What if I’m not ready to quit?

It is OK if you are not ready to quit.

Talking to a drug and alcohol worker can still be really helpful.

Services are not there to judge you or tell you so stop using drugs. They are there to support you and your wellbeing. If you feel like your drug use is a bit of an issue but you don’t want to stop, that’s OK.

Support services will work with you where you are at and will try to help you depend less on drugs and reduce any risks that may be related to your drug use.

They will also help you improve the good things in your life, because the more good things there are the better life will be. A worker could support you to look after your health, or link in with housing services, or a counsellor or psychologist if that is the right fit for you.

The aim of youth AOD services isn’t to stop you using drugs, it is to reduce the harms and risks that are in your life and increase the good things. The happier you are, the less likely it is that you will find drugs to be a problem.

If you aren’t ready to quit but you do want to feel better services can help you figure it out.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ You’ve made the call – now what?

Once you have decided to make a change waiting for an appointment or to get into a program can be frustrating.

It can be a bit hard to stay motivated and it might feel easier to just forget about getting help. You could also feel a bit relieved that there is a wait, because deciding to reduce your use can be scary.

Here are some thoughts and feelings that people have when they are waiting and what you can do:

I want to give up

It is understandable that you may feel angry, frustrated or sad that you have asked for help and you didn’t get it straight away. You could feel let down and want to give up.

There might be other people in your life who are telling you make the call and make the changes. They may not understand that you are doing everything you can and that the wait isn’t your fault. Other people could be so frustrated that they say you aren’t worth it or that they feel like giving up on you too.

Don’t listen to them – because they’re wrong. You have come this far and contacting drug and alcohol services takes courage. Keep going and do it for yourself because you deserve to feel better and get the right support.

I have a lot of different feelings

Even if you feel ready to change you can be scared that it won’t be possible or that you will fail. You could be uncomfortable with someone else telling you what to do or worry that you will be putting all of your problems onto them. Maybe you are embarrassed or ashamed about your past choices and behaviour and are seeing yourself differently.

Try to be nice to yourself, give yourself a break. Confusion at a time like this is normal. Also, you don’t have to have all the answers. But being kind to yourself will help you keep taking steps in the right direction.

I’m worried about what other people with think

Losing connections with mates who are still using, or being judged by friends and family who don’t is something that worries many young people. Using substances might have caused some people you care about to stop trusting you, or arguments that you don’t know how to solve. You might even be asking yourself whether you will have to cut off people who are good friends because they are still using and have different goals.

Positive relationships are an important part of any change plan – friends who use can still give you love and support, you may just have to make some adjustments to how you spend time together. Services can help explain what you are going through to your important people (if you want) which can be useful too.

I want to keep using

Maybe a big part of you doesn’t want to give up – this is really understandable.

Getting support from a service does not necessarily mean they will tell you to stop using. They are there to support your choices, give you up-to-date information and help you with strategies to make things easier and keep you safe.

I need to talk to someone

Letting your family, carers or friends know what is going on and how you are feeling can be a great way to get support. But if you don’t feel like you have anyone on your side who can get what you are going through, get online or call to chat to someone. It can feel weird talking to a stranger at first but often it can help make things feel better and you may start seeing things differently.

I need to do something!

Get things moving - it is a great way to feel like things are changing.

If you want some ideas about what you can do when planning to cut down or quit have a look at this article, preparing to cut down or stop.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ Making the decision to change your use

Making a decision to change or not can be a difficult one. Using simple tools and asking key questions can help you come to the right decision for you.

So you think you might want to make some changes to your use? Think carefully about these five questions.

Why would you want to make this change?
If you did decide to do it, how might you go about it?
What are the three best reasons for you to make this change?
On a scale of zero to ten how important is it for you to make this change? Why are you at that number and not a zero?
So what do you think you will do?

No matter what you decide, there are always things you can do to be as safe as you can when using.

If you are trying to cut down or stop using and need some help Contact Us

+ Reducing the need to use

No matter what your goals are, working through problems related to drug or alcohol use can be helped by reducing the need to use. One way to do this is by finding other things to take the place of drug or alcohol use.

Finding alternatives can be a bit difficult sometimes because there are things can get in the way like:

The fact that drugs and alcohol can be a quick and easy way to feel good and cope with things.
Alternatives can cost money and take time.
You may not feel confident to do some of the alternatives suggested, like playing for a sporting team or looking for work or getting into a course.
You may not have a lot of adults around that can help you get into other activities

Getting a bit more control over your use isn’t just about cutting out problems. It is really important to add (new) good things you love into the mix too.

Here are some activities and goals other young people have found helpful:

Learn two ways to relax
Get a free massage a week from health service
Try yoga
Get back into soccer
Watch a whole TV series
Join a movie night group at youth services
Go to a creative class
Learn how to write a resume and look for some work
Get back into guitar
Listen to more music!
Take day trips to the beach more - be close to the water
Visit Dad and step brother in NSW
Get a new haircut
Do an outdoor camp trip

Could any of these work for you? Can you think of more to try?

If you are trying to cut down or stop using and need some help Contact Us

+ Reducing the need to use

Finding alternatives can be a bit difficult sometimes because there are things can get in the way like:

The fact that drugs and alcohol can be a quick and easy way to feel good and cope with things.
Alternatives can cost money and take time.
You may not feel confident to do some of the alternatives suggested, like playing for a sporting team or looking for work or getting into a course.
You may not have a lot of adults around that can help you get into other activities

Getting a bit more control over your use isn’t just about cutting out problems. It is really important to add (new) good things you love into the mix too.

Here are some activities and goals other young people have found helpful:

Learn two ways to relax
Get a free massage a week from health service
Try yoga
Get back into soccer
Watch a whole TV series
Join a movie night group at youth services
Go to a creative class
Learn how to write a resume and look for some work
Get back into guitar
Listen to more music!
Take day trips to the beach more - be close to the water
Visit Dad and step brother in NSW
Get a new haircut
Do an outdoor camp trip

Could any of these work for you? Can you think of more to try?

If you are trying to cut down or stop using and need some help Contact Us

+ Setting a goal for your drug use

Reaching your goals is more likely if you write them down, and think about the step you need to take to achieve them.

Setting goals is probably something you already do without knowing it!

Here are some examples:

“Next time I’ll save more of my pay” “I’ll get better at saying no to lending my money to friends” “I’m gonna get a job and move out of here”

Goals like these might come and go, but with some planning and focus you can make them a reality.

Using SMART goals can be good way to make you more likely to meet your goal, because they are:

Specific: Be really clear on what the goal is “I want to delay using cannabis until after lunch on weekdays” rather than “I want to use less drugs”
Measurable: Will it be obvious if you’ve achieved the goal? “I want to go from 20 bongs a day to 10” rather than “I will smoke less weed”
Attainable or Active: Make sure the goal is something that you are in control of or have an active part in controlling. “I’ll stay calm when mum has a go at me” rather than “There will be less fights”
Realistic: Choose a goal that is achievable. Achieving one goal can make others easier. “I’ll get through Christmas day without drinking” rather than “I’ll never drink again”
Time limited: Set a clear timeframe. When do you want to reach your goal?

Here are some great tips from ReachOut about how to set goals!

If you aren’t achieving your goals don’t get too down on yourself.

Maybe it is the goals that have to change or maybe you need to review the steps to achieve them.

If you are trying to cut down or stop using and need some help Contact Us

+ Planning to cut down or stop

If you’ve decided that your goal is to make changes, it can be useful to make a plan. This means you are trying to think things through and be prepared. It also means that you are working out what you could expect if you cut down or stop using drugs and/or alcohol.

If you’ve tried to cut down before you will know a bit more about what it is like for you. A plan usually includes:

Setting a date
Deciding what changes you want to make
Preparing your environment
Planning ahead for the risky or tough times
Preparing for how you feel when you reduce or stop using

Setting a date

Setting a date to make a change is a very important step in managing drug and/or alcohol use. It sounds simple, and it is in some ways. Some young people find it really useful to set a specific date to start trying to cut down.

To give yourself the best chance of meeting your goals think about things like:

Are there certain anniversaries or dates that are going to be harder than others to start?
Are there times of the week that are more significant to plan around? Payday or the weekend?
Is there a time when it will naturally be harder to use as much and easier to achieve my goal? For example, I’m going away or I am round non-using people more.

Once you have set a date write it down and tell any supportive friends or family members, (if you want to). Try to be careful when the date is coming up and to use a bit less as it gets closer to make things easier.

Deciding what changes you want to make

Quitting completely is one option when you decide to make changes to your drug and alcohol use but it is not the only one. Stopping completely might be unrealistic and a bit scary. Lots of young people want to feel more in control of their use but prefer to make changes without stopping all their use.

There are many ways you can change your use to help you be happier and healthier.

People are usually more successful at making changes when they have clear goals.

Here are some ideas:

Plan drug free days or set limits on the number of days a week you use
Set limits on the amount you use per day (e.g. never more than x amount per day)
Set limits on the time of day you use (e.g. only after midday)
Delay the first time you use for the day for as long as possible.
Put away equipment when you are not using
Keep a record of how much and how often you are using so things don’t get away from you without noticing.
Try to replace a session or particular drug use time with a specific alternative activity.
Only prepare or buy a small amount of what you are using at a time.
Only use when you are in a good mood-not if I am angry or upset
Don’t carry too much cash or your ATM card.

Preparing your environment

Preparing your environment can help you make changes. Sometimes what is going on around you can have a big impact on how easy or hard it is to change your use. You can’t change everything but here are some things you can try:

Get rid of the things that most remind you of using (bongs, partying photos, empty bottles)
Tell people (that will be supportive) about your plans. Tell them how they can help you.
Think about your phone, who do you want calls from, who do you want to avoid for a while?
Can you stay somewhere else for a while? Maybe with a relative or with someone who you will make it harder to use?

Planning ahead for tough or risky times

When you cut down or stop using drugs and/or alcohol there will be some times, places, people and events that make it harder to keep it up.

Planning ahead so that you are prepared for these things makes it easier to manage them when they come up. If you have tried to reduce your use before, you may be able to remember some of the times when you had cravings, or when it was harder not to use.

Some examples of risky times are:

Seeing a certain group of friends
After fights with family or partner
When you’re bored
Feeling stressed or anxious
Feeling angry
Feeling flat, low or depressed
Certain times of day (just before bed or first thing in the morning)
Certain times of the week (just after getting paid or the weekend)
Celebrating an event or achievement

Working out why you use can also help you to figure out what times, places, people and events might make it a bit more challenging for you to stick to your plan.

Once you figure out what times will be most risky you can start to plan ways to deal with these situations. Some good ways to start can be by setting goals, working out some strategies that could help and working on your problem solving skills.

Here are some strategies you could try:

Avoid or leave the situation - this can be useful when you are in the early stages of stopping or controlling your drug use
Get rid of any drugs/alcohol in the house
Keep away from the people and places that you associate with drug use
Plan your day and keep yourself busy
Delay your decision to use drugs
Remember that cravings or urges come in waves and will pass
Remind yourself of the benefits of not using drugs
Remind yourself of the negative things about using drugs
Distract yourself - play a game on your phone
Watch a movie
Have a nap
Cook yourself some food
Read a magazine or book
Exercise – go for a walk around the block
Practice relaxation, have a bath, do 4 – 7 - 8 breathing (count to four as you slowly inhale, hold your breath as you count to seven and slowly exhale as you count to eight), or have a hot chocolate
Talk to someone you trust - this can reduce feelings of anxiety, fear and vulnerability
Identify these people and let them know that you need their support
Challenge your thoughts, try saying “I won’t fix this problem by using drugs” or “This craving makes me feel bad, but it’s normal and I can get through it without using drugs”
Remind yourself of your successes so far
Keep a diary, so you can look back on your experiences
Reward yourself for making it through a high-risk situation
Be kind to yourself - what would you say to a friend who was going through the same thing?

Remember, if you can’t get through these risky times don’t get too down on yourself or give up. You can use the situation to help you know what to expect next time!

Preparing for how you feel when you reduce or stop using

Have you thought about what things might be like if you use less or stop? Using drugs and alcohol can have both positive and harmful impacts on you.

Some experiences like fighting with parents, feeling a lack of motivation or getting into trouble with the police may be less of an issue if you reduce your use. But on the other side if you use drugs or alcohol because it feels exciting and fun, then life might feel a little boring without them and if using drugs helps you deal with stress or unpleasant emotions then these may be harder to deal with without drugs.

Dealing with stress, fitting in, feeling social, dealing with difficult and painful emotions and thoughts, relaxing and getting to sleep are all reasons people may use drugs and they are all normal and healthy needs.

If you want to make changes to your drug use it is really important to find other activities, ways, supports that can help you meet your needs.

If you are trying to cut down or stop using and need some help Contact Us

+ Dealing with cravings

Learning how to deal with cravings can be a really important part of making changes to your drug or alcohol use.

Cravings can happen when you try to reduce or stop using drugs or alcohol or even when you have not been using for a while.

The more you understand your use the more predictable cravings will become. Cravings always pass eventually, so if you learn ways to deal with them it will make trying to cut down or stop more manageable.

Here are some strategies you can try:

Notice when the craving begins so you do something about it.
Change the situation you are in. Go for a walk or run, get out of the house for a bit.
Delay using or scoring for a few minutes. You might find the feeling goes. When the time is up, delay using for few more minutes, and then another, and so on. It is easier to resist cravings bit by bit rather than saying you’ll never ever use again!
Remind yourself that cravings are a normal and they will pass. The more you get through the weaker they become and the less often they will come back.

Distract yourself:

Talk to or visit someone supportive when you start to get cravings
Do something relaxing and enjoyable
Have a bath or shower, or a massage
Go for a walk or run, or do other physical exercise
Listen to a motivational song or two
Watch a video or go to the movies
Practice some breathing exercises
Make a warm drink or a tasty snack

What else helps you to deal with cravings? You could make a list of things that work for you and put it on the fridge or in your room as a reminder.

Cravings always pass eventually

If you do use or can’t get through a craving you haven’t failed and you are not weak.

Like everything, dealing with cravings takes practice. You could find that a lapse teaches you more about what you need to reach your goals and manage cravings. So you can use the situation to help you move forward.

If you do use after going without for a bit remember to be as safe as you can and start low and go slow because your tolerance will be lower.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ I’m worried about relapse

Stopping drug and/or alcohol use can mean huge changes to other parts of your life too. When you are trying to adjust to a drug-free lifestyle there is a chance of relapse (using again after stopping).

Don’t think of this as a failure.

You are re-training your body, brain, thoughts, impulses and habits. It is not easy and it will take time. Getting help while you are making all these changes is a good idea and can reduce your chances of using again.

Here are some relapse warning signs:

Getting sick of, or frustrated by your ‘recovery’ process
Feeling emotionally flat
More stress in your life can make you feel like using substances to cope
Back to denial – trying to convince yourself that you were never dependent in the first place
Having withdrawal symptoms and cravings again
Significantly changing your post-withdrawal routine which had been helpful
Stopping spending time with friends and family - you would rather be alone
Losing structure in your daily routine
Finding it hard to judge situations and make decisions – feeling more confused and irritable
Feeling less confident and less in control of your ability to manage your life
Cutting off support groups and workers

Knowing and looking out for these signs could help you avoid relapse.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

+ You don’t have to do it alone

If you are having problems with drugs or alcohol it can feel really lonely. Trying to cover up or hide your use means you can avoid people you care about. Or sometimes those close to you are angry if they know you are using drugs. These experiences are really common.

To make things more complicated, sometimes having fights with people close to you can make you want to use in the first place. Even so, and as hard as it can be, having supportive people around is really important.

While everyone has their own journey, for many young people who have learned to manage their use, a good network of friends, family or community is one of the things that helped them the most. Youth workers and support services often try to involve family or other community members when supporting a young person (if they want this).

It doesn’t mean you need to have “perfect relationships” with people who support all your goals and everything you do - even friends who still use drugs can be caring supporters of you and even when families are doing it tough, they can find ways to support each other.

Check out this simple app from the Young and Well CRC which encourages appreciation of friends and others.

You can’t control how others will treat and respond to you but don’t deliberately cut yourself off from family, friends and other people if you are struggling. It might be hard but try to keep up communication with those close to you, it could be the most important thing in the end!

See the ReachOut website for some great resources to help you with relationships. Check out this article about managing conflict with parents.

If you are not sure what to do and want to talk to someone Contact Us

Eche12 May 2020