LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF

+ Self-Care

Supporting and caring for a young person who has alcohol or other drug issues is a long road. Worry, frustration, anger, disappointment and guilt are all normal emotions that a loved one may experience – and they are all draining.

Many parents and loved ones, upon finding out that their child is using drugs, invest their time and energy into trying to get their young person into treatment or attempting to intervene in their use. What seems like the clear next step to you may not be agreed to by the young person themselves and the resulting resistance and conflict can make you feel like you are going round in circles ‘Why won’t they just get help!’

Getting caught up in this cycle can put you at risk of being burnt out and you may be ‘sick of it’ when a young person does decide it is time to reach out for help.

What can you do?

Parents and carers who have been through this before will tell you one of the most powerful things you can do is actually focus some energy on yourself.

Research indicates that healthy family functioning enables the family to be a source of strength for all its members – including a young person who is using substances. A strong family base can have a huge impact on a young person’s ability to make changes and stick to them in the long run. Likewise, a family comprising of burnt out, frustrated, angry members ‘at their wits end’ is not an ideal place for a young person using alcohol or other drugs to seek support.

Staying healthy (in mind and body) for the long journey is really important. Here are some things you can do to keep on track:

  • Surround yourself with support (and consider seeing a counsellor). This strengthens you for the journey ahead and role models help seeking to your loved one.
  • Remember that you are in a unique position to create a safe and healthy environment for a young person to recover in – when they are ready. Start working on that today.
  • Talk to people who understand. We recommend Family Drug Support or Family Drug Help.
  • Remember you’ll be a better supporter to your loved one if you are healthy and well supported yourself.

+ Family Support Programs

It can be hard for young people to access services, but it can be just as difficult for families to get help for themselves, or if they are willing to be involved in a young person’s treatment.

Fear of being judged or blamed, concerns that you’ll be made to ‘open up’ or be ‘put on the spot’, or simply fear of the unknown can often prevent family members from seeking support even when they readily seek help for a young person they care about.

When a family is in a position to be included in some way in treatment and support, this tends to have better outcomes for a young person. Families and carers can play a big part in helping a young person overcome a drug or alcohol problem. This is the opposite of approaches that separate young people from families and community in order to fix problems.

What does a family support program look like?

Family or carers supporting a young person with an alcohol or drug problem are often encouraged to get support for themselves. This means focusing on your needs as a carer.

Services such as Family Drug Support and Family Drug Help are the best places to start.

As well as including you in a young person’s care and support many drug and alcohol services offer specific family treatment interventions. These may involve:

  • Family sessions where family members and a young person attend together
  • Sessions where family members are offered time with a counsellor separate to a young person
  • A combination of sessions for family, family and young person and young person separately.

Aside from family programs specifically addressing drug and alcohol issues, support programs exist that offer more general family support and therapy, or that address other issues. While they don’t necessarily have a drug or alcohol focus they can help families work through issues that may have an impact on a young person’s drug or alcohol use.

Family Drug Help

Have you thought about attending a support group for family members? Many families find it helpful to be around other people who understand, while they learn strategies to cope and gain support.

The pressure of living with and supporting a young person experiencing problematic substance use is more than most people can cope with alone.

In a support group you are with other people who have travelled a similar journey. Attending groups regularly can reduce feelings of fear, anxiety, depression, helplessness and shame by increasing support, building knowledge and providing ongoing education.

Family Drug Help runs support groups across Victoria.

For information on where and when groups meet, please visit the FDH website or call 1300 660 068.

Eche